I didn’t do “terribly.” But really, I bombed that IOC. Put it in the wrong act, not sure I even used the right lines to support my claims. I spoke about theme a lot (good), but I don’t think I used any sort of literary device terminology whatsoever (bad).
I’m not a big fan of twenty minute analysis and then a fifteen minute discussion all within the same thirty-five minutes. I don’t care about the actual Individual Oral Commentary grade however, it’s only 15% of the final grade that doesn’t matter - I really only care about where my predicted grade is going to go after this. Hopefully it’ll stay the same…
Why? Because so many of our peers are starting to show their true colors. Their true, backstabbing, two-faced, judgmental characters. It is times like this when I appreciate the real world - where you are best friends with people who don’t want to go below surface level. It just sucks when you’ve been there for someone when they felt like no one else was by their side and when they felt that the world was judging them, yet they are so quick to talk shit behind your back.
Sure, last night I was in a terrible mood. Perhaps I was being a little bit “dramatic.” But really… you think you are anyone to talk about dramatic? I’m am pretty sure you are going to win the drama queen title in our yearbook, babe. Even though I thought some of the things (by some, I mean most) that you did this semester were rash and unconventional, I’m pretty sure I recognized that there were reasons for your actions. I could be guilty of the same thing you’ve done because I have said you’re immature behind your back. But I am not entirely because I recognize that there are reasons for your immaturity, and I have discussed these reasons to people (in a way to defend you). Your immaturity isn’t entirely your fault; you’ve been raised with privilege, Daddy’s money, and with the idea that there are no repercussions for your actions. When I could have changed the way I look at you at every turn, I stayed out of others’ judgments because what you were doing didn’t affect me. But you’ve changed that because you’ll talk behind my back without recognizing that there are reasons for why I act a certain way. Last night I was pissed at everyone who was irresponsible and regarded our time as unimportant and irrelevant. I just woke up from a nap as well, so I would’ve been pissed at anyone. I was snarky, yes, and maybe unreasonable. But dramatic?
I don’t do this passive aggressive thing anymore, so I will talk to you about how I feel about what you’ve said. For some reason I thought you were better than what you’ve shown me; I was naive.
There are so many more examples of how people are changing on this campus. I just saw a status from my “country-mate” and she is someone with a completely different set of friends than I. Her exact words were, “Sad moment: when you realize how people can be SO double-faced and that there are only two or even one person you can really trust.”
See, I’m lucky. There are at least twelve people I can really trust. But that’s only 6% of the people here.
farts in his sleep. It’s no biggie really, I’m sure I do too, as well as everyone else on this campus and in the world. The issue, though, is that his farts are ninja-mutated: silent, deadly, and predatory. They stalk me and linger around me waiting for the right time to enter my nostrils. So, I could be on tumblr and really getting into the song that is playing, and all of a sudden, that whole world comes crashing down because of this horrible smell. I can’t even describe the smell of his farts, but it’s always the same - no spontaneity whatsoever. Every. single. day.
I had a very fine day today. I ended up talking a lot to people in my Selection Committee which helped me to realize that I am stronger than I thought in comparison to the other Americans at this school. I’m not one of the weakest as I had thought previously. I think I left a great impression with them.
I don’t know… I’ve just had a lot of positive interaction today. I’m tired as all hell, though…